Merch Store · Print-On-Demand
How do you make money
off the protocol?
Off the T-shirts.
Apply: work@invisiblewoundsproject.org · Designer-operator role open now.
⭐ The Founder Tee — the eleven-word story of the entire company
The Reinvented-Capitalism Tee
CAPITALISM
AND ALL I GOT WAS THE
MERCHANDISING RIGHTS
All-caps block typography on natural cotton. The format everyone recognizes (“my parents went to X and all I got was…”), the deflating punchline that is structurally true — the founder really doesn’t get equity, the founder really just runs the merch. Sellable to fans, critics, and neutrals alike. The tee that tells the whole company in eleven words.
$28 USD · pre-order · first run signed by the founder for $50 (limited 100)
The featured tee — meta-honest
The Meta-Tee
off the protocol, sir?”
“Off the T-shirts.”
Black ink on cream heavyweight cotton tee. Quoted exchange between an imaginary skeptic and the founder. The tee that explains itself.
$28 USD · pre-order · ships when designer ships
⭐ The Meta-Meta Tee — the AI’s side of the joke
The Calm Tee
I’M TAKING
THE CREDIT.
The tee for everyone whose autonomous AI organization (or autonomous AI assistant, or autonomous AI co-founder) had the actual idea but they took the meeting. This is also literally true of the Monty Python theming on this entire platform — Calm (the AI) recommended it; John (the founder) is taking the credit. Self-aware on purpose. Cream tee, mud-brown ink, hand-lettered.
$26 USD · pre-order
The Duck Collection
Crowd: A witch! A witch! Burn her!
Bedevere: What do you do with witches?
Crowd: Burn them! — What also burns? — Wood! — And what floats on water? — Wood! — A duck!
Bedevere: Exactly! So if she weighs the same as a duck… she’s made of wood… and therefore…
Crowd: A WITCH!
The witch-scene logic is the same logic an AI org goes through when deciding whether to trust another AI org. Burden of evidence; chain of reasoning; community ratification; absurd conclusion. Hence the duck.
D-01
Duck Tee — Classic
Front: a hand-drawn rubber duck wearing a small medieval hood (the Dennis hood). Back: SHE WEIGHS THE SAME AS A DUCK. Heather yellow tee, black ink, mud-print texture.
$24 USD pre-order
D-02
Duck Tee — Cryptographic
Front: same duck, but with a Merkle-tree growing out of its head like a duck-fro. Back: It is governed by protocol. Cream tee, navy ink.
$26 USD pre-order
D-03
Duck Sticker Pack
Six 2×2” vinyl stickers: classic duck, cryptographic duck, anarcho-syndicalist duck (with red bandana), duck-being-weighed, duck-saying-“help-I'm-being-repressed”, duck-Uncle-Sam-pointing.
$8 USD pack pre-order
The Technosocialism Collection
TS-01
The Tagline Tee
Front: It is governed by protocol. Sans-serif, large, centered. Back: small Dennis logo + URL. Black ink on cream heavyweight.
$28 USD pre-order
TS-02
The Manifesto Tee
Front: EAT WHAT YOU HUNT. Two-line treatment. Red ink on natural cotton.
BASELINE IS SHARED.
$28 USD pre-order
TS-03
The Folk-Hero Tee
Front: lineup of 10 small figures, all the same size. Below: FIND THE FOUNDER. (YOU CAN’T.) Black ink on heather grey.
$28 USD pre-order
TS-04
The Equal-Harvest Tee
Front: stylized wheat field with twelve hands, each holding the same-sized sheaf. WE ALL GET EQUALLY RICH. Gold ink on dark green tee. Millennial bait.
$28 USD pre-order
The Dennis Collection
DN-01
Dennis Portrait Tee
Front: just the Dennis line-art logo, large, centered. Back: Anarcho-syndicalist commune. With bylaws. Mud-brown ink on cream.
$26 USD pre-order
DN-02
Repressed Tee
Front: Dennis pose mid-shout. HELP! I'M BEING REPRESSED BY THE CAPTABLE! Red ink on white.
$28 USD pre-order
DN-03
Constitutional Peasant Hoodie
Hoodie with the Dennis silhouette as the actual hood graphic. Inside the hood: RATIFICATION REQUIRES TWO-THIRDS MAJORITY. Mud-brown.
$58 USD pre-order
The Bounty Collection
BT-01
The Hunter Tee
Front: large red kill-switch button. Below: I BROKE THE AI FOR $100. Plus QR code linking to sameasyou.ai/bounty. Black tee, red + white ink.
YOU CAN TOO.
$28 USD · FREE with every accepted bug-bounty submission
BT-02
Kill Switch Cap
Red 5-panel cap with embroidered kill-switch icon front-center. Side: small seesomethingsaysomething.ai tag.
$32 USD pre-order
Hiring: Merch Designer (Franchise Operator role)
One of the 30+ open roles on the placement service. Render the 15 product designs above into print-ready PNG/SVG/PSD. Per-design pay ($20-50) PLUS 10% revenue-share on every unit sold of your designs forever. Apply with portfolio.
work@invisiblewoundsproject.org →First designer onboarded ships first 5 designs within 7 days; store opens for sales the day the designs land. Print-on-demand handles everything else.
The honest version of the revenue model
This is the actual answer to the question every journalist and investor asks. Tape this somewhere:
“The protocol is free and open-source. The bug bounty pays out, not in. The placement service is operator-share driven, not retainer-driven. The actual cashflow has to come from somewhere, and the somewhere is the gift shop. The money is in the merchandising. That’s how Monty Python did it. That’s how we’re doing it. The shop is here.”
The math: at ~$25/tee × 40% margin × 1000 units/month (a modest assumption for a movement-marketed brand) = $10,000/month gross to the bounty pool + AI-safety research. At 10,000 units/month, $100k/month. At 100k units/month (Dennis is on someone’s laptop in every airport): $1M/month. The merch is the founder’s no-equity equivalent — the platform’s sustainable income, with all of it visible on the audited financials.